Chapter 6 – Elevator Panic
The elevator’s abrupt stop made both Lizz and Shaoyu lose their balance and fall down. The only source of illumination in the elevator was an emergency light, faintly glowing red.
Zhang Shaoyu was unable to react for some time before finally regaining his composure. He suddenly remembered stories of people and their tragically heroic deeds after getting trapped in an elevator. Zhang Shaoyu never expected to be in one of them. The thing that pissed off Shaoyu most, however, was the itchy hands of someone who was right beside him. He was just about to stand up angrily, letting out stream after stream of curse words when–
He became completely dumbfounded when he saw Lizz’s expression. She was trapped beneath his body, with only several inches separating their bodies. Lizz’s large eyes were staring at him as if she was a kitten, and she was extremely adorable. Shaoyu could distinctly detect her intoxicating fragrant scent.
Lizz did not notice Shaoyu, who was currently on top of her, nor did she know what just happened. However, she knew that it was her fault. She thought: If Shaoyu ends up hating me for this, won’t all my plans go down the drain? The Sacred Blood Stone I worked so hard to get will just end up disappearing? How could I face my teachers and everyone else in the Church?
The more Lizz thought, the more depressed she got. In the end, she couldn’t hold in her tears and started bawling like a child. Large teardrops fell from her eyes as she rubbed her eyes with her little clenched fists. She wailed, “Waaaaahhhh…… Shaoyu, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do it!! Please don’t get rid of me… Wahhhh!!”
A wise man once said that a girl’s tears were the most lethal weapon, especially those of a beautiful girl’s like Lizz. Her one tear could move even a eunuch’s heart, what’s to say Zhang Shaoyu, a guy in the prime of his youth? His anger got dispelled instantly in the face of this beauty.
Zhang Shaoyu sighed, unable to muster his anger anymore. He helped her to stand up and calmed her down, “It’s okay… Don’t cry anymore. I won’t tell you to go away.”
The little girl, still sobbing, looked at him with teary eyes, “You really won’t throw me out?”
Zhang Shaoyu patted his chest and squeezed out a bitter smile, “I won’t go back on my words!”
With that, he helped her wipe her tears, “Okay? So stop crying… Having tear streaks on your face won’t do anything for your beauty, OK?”
Lizz stopped crying and broke into a smile, punching Zhang Shaoyu’s chest while sulking, “Who are you calling beautiful!”
Seeing Lizz cheering up, Zhang Shaoyu too felt happy and started playing along with her, “Mercy have me, my lady, have mercy! You’re going to beat me to death! ”
Lizz naturally had a playful nature. Upon seeing how Zhang Shaoyu played along with her, she smiled even more brilliantly. She puffed out her small chest and put one hand on it, declaring, “Hmph! Today, I shall allow you to witness my might!”
Zhang Shaoyu was also a happy-go-lucky guy and so he laughed heartily, completely forgetting the situation they were in. He also felt like teasing Lizz and a brilliant idea hit him all of a sudden. He clutched his stomach and then faked a painful expression, slowly laying down on the floor and spoke as if he was in great pain, “Ugh… It hurts…!”
Lizz was completely shocked, her eyes radiating authentic concern for him, “Shaoyu, are you okay? Did I hit you too hard? Which part hurts?”
Zhang Shaoyu coughed twice and spoke painfully as if he were a man on his deathbed, “It’s not your fault… It’s just that I have had this terminal disease since I was young…”
Lizz was extremely confused. Terminal disease? But the Sacred Blood Stone had the power of the vampire king. It should be not possible for any diseases or illness to afflict him. Any virus living in his body should be completely dead by now… The vampire king aside, nobody has ever heard of a vampire getting a flu immunization shot, right?(1)
Lizz’s thoughts were completely engrossed by the Sacred Blood Stone. If Zhang Shaoyu really died, would the Sacred Blood Stone die with him?
Lizz grew even more anxious. She rubbed Zhang Shaoyu’s stomach and chest while asking worriedly, “Shaoyu, are you feeling better? Please don’t die!”
Shaoyu chuckled to himself seeing Lizz’s worried face and continued to act as if he was in pain, “It’s useless… I won’t get better without the medicine…”
“Medicine? What medicine do you need? Where is it? I’ll get it for you!”
Zhang Shaoyu stifled his laughter, shaking his head slowly. His expression turned regretful, “This is quite a weird sickness… Once its symptoms start showing, I need a beautiful girl to kiss me… Agh… But we’re trapped in the elevator… Where can I find a beautiful girl…?”
Lizz was surprised. As she grew up in the magical world, all of her thoughts would naturally revolve around magic. In the magical world, there was indeed a curse that would unbearable levels of pain on a person. He would look like a normal person most of the time, but once the curse started acting up, he had to find a woman to sleep with to avoid death.
So was this something like that curse?(2)
Lizz was quite an airhead to begin with, and would do anything for the Sacred Blood Stone.
She steeled her heart and asked Zhang Shaoyu, “Just a kiss from someone of the opposite sex would work, right?”
At first, Zhang Shaoyu thought that Lizz finally realized that he was just joking. However, the girl in front of him was a complete airhead and trusted him completely. He didn’t actually intend to take advantage of her but his heart throbbed after seeing Lizz’s slightly moist cherry colored lips.
“Y–Yes!” Zhang Shaoyu stammered. His first kiss was still an 18-year limited edition. He gulped as he saw Lizz’s lips draw closer and closer to his. Her unique fragrance gradually got closer and closer, slowly enveloping his senses.
Excitement filled Zhang Shaoyu from his very core; it was as if some unknown force compelled him to lean forward. He felt itchy and hot, looking forward to each passing second.
Just when their lips were about to touch, a loud crashing sound came from outside the elevator, as if someone was slamming the door with some heavy object. Soon, a metal bar managed to slip in and the door finally opened with a loud ‘crash’.
Light filled the space, causing the two of them quiver and separate. Originally only inches from each other, both of them blushed like a couple caught in bed.
“Are you guys okay? I wasn’t too late, was I?” Zhang Shaoyu could hear a man’s voice as he looked towards the door. A tall man stood there, wiping his somewhat messy beard. His body was quite muscular, and he was wearing a yellow vest. Zhang Shaoyu knew the man.
He called him Uncle Huang, and he was the security guard at the parking lots.
Zhang Shaoyu started cursing the man in his heart. Of all times to come, why the heck did you have to come now? You really want to cockblock me, right?
Zhang Shaoyu replied, “It’s okay Uncle Huang…You really weren’t a. minute. too. late!” Zhang Shaoyu practically hissed out the last four words.
Uncle Huang obviously did not catch Zhang Shaoyu’s tone and thought that Zhang Shaoyu was just thanking him. He embarrassingly said, “My monitoring device said that the elevator had stopped so I came down immediately. I’m glad to see that you’re okay.” Finishing his tirade, he helped Zhang Shaoyu and Lizz to get out of the elevator before going in to check the elevator.
Zhang Shaoyu thought: I can’t let him find out that we’re the ones messing with the emergency buttons! After all, the best strategy in the Thirty Six Stratagems is to run! (3)
With that, he pulled Lizz’s sleeves and ran towards the stairs.
When Uncle Huang came out from the elevator, Zhang Shaoyu was already halfway up to his apartment. He started shouting, “Hey you! Were you the one who pushed the emergency button!? Don’t you know…?” That’s when he realized that the floor was devoid of any other human. He could only clench his teeth and spat one final line, “Kids these days…” before turning the elevator on again.
Zhang Shaoyu finally arrived at his apartment when he heard Uncle Huang’s bellowing on the lower levels. He wiped the sweat off his forehead as he grimaced, “It’s a good thing that we managed to escape, otherwise who knows how many hours we would be spending there before finally getting released.” He turned around and said, “Lizz, this is my home–”
When he turned to face Lizz, the Lizz he saw was glaring at him with contempt and disgust in her eyes. She started speaking, twitching the corners of her mouth, “Shaoyu, didn’t you just say that your terminal illness was acting up, and that you were going to die? How could you get so healthy in a moment and could even run up seven floors?”
Zhang Shaoyu began to sweat all of a sudden, and in desperation, came up with a pathetic excuse. “Ah, yeah! Right! At that critical time, a surge of power came out from within me! It even suppressed the illness!” The moment he finished saying that, he felt like head-butting the wall. As if anyone would believe that kind of bullshit!
But Lizz’s eyebrows relaxed the moment after hearing his excuse. She thought: It looks like the Sacred Blood Stone saved his life. Indeed an artifact worth the wait of a million years!
Lizz gave an authentic smile as she said, “That’s good then, let’s go in!”
Eh? She believed that? She believed a lie that even a three-year-old would not? Is she truly stupid or what…?
Zhang Shaoyu decided not to dwell on the matter and opened the door.
They were greeted with the living room with a French window leading to a balcony with semi-transparent curtains.
In the middle of the room was a glass coffee table on top of a carpet with various sitting cushions around it. On top of it was a PS3 and a large stack of games beside it, the true sign of an otaku.
Lizz sat on the sofa, glancing around the room. From time to time, she would touch random objects or stare intensely at them. It was as if she was a child who was visiting the zoo for the first time.
Zhang Shaoyu’s nerves finally calmed down after getting home. He poured himself a cup of water and his stomach grumbled. He asked, “Lizz, you hungry?”
Having been focused on the Sacred Blood Stone ever since last night, Lizz did not even have the chance to drink a drop of water, let alone eat. Upon hearing what Zhang Shaoyu said, her stomach wailed pathetically and she said, “Hungry! So hungry! I’m very hungry!”
It was said that a man’s cooking was the best way to enslave a woman’s heart. Now the chance to prove it!(4)
The fired-up Zhang Shaoyu rolled up his sleeves, started grinning and claimed, “Okay! Witness how I enslave you!”
“Enslave?” Lizz tilted her head, unable to understand what Zhang Shaoyu just said.
Zhang Shaoyu quickly explained, “No! I mean, let me cook for you!”
Lizz was surprised, “You will cook?”
Zhang Shaoyu answered with great vigor, “Yup! Of course! I live alone, if I couldn’t cook, I would long be dead! Just sit back, relax, and wait for my masterpiece!”
Lizz thought: I brought nothing but problems for him. And now he wants to cook for me? Am I nothing but trouble for him…? That won’t do, I have to do something for him too!
With that, Lizz stood up and declared, “No! I will be the one who prepares this meal!”
TRANSLATOR’S NOTES :
1. As in they are immune to it.
2. As in you know what it means. Quite a….curse eh?
4. Wasn’t it the reverse…?